From where I stand…

Today I woke up to the realization that our nation isn’t what I thought it was. While I don’t think that America was in a place of greatness, it was in a place of change. Slowly morphing into a beautiful collage of all people and beliefs. People were coming behind their brothers and sisters and standing with them instead of over them.  And I realize that perhaps, in my ideal eyes, I had hope that the decency of humanity would prevail. That inside every person was a soul who, in the end, would not stand with a man who has consistently shown that he has no moral compass.

And, I know many will say that this is about Hillary losing. But, no. In my eyes, this is about Trump winning. People wake up everyday fearing their life because of the color of their skin or their sexual orientation; people live in deep shame for the very person that God made them to be. But, we’ve slowly been working towards change. Towards a nation of unity and not division. But, Trump brought out the deep-seeded feelings that people still have towards those who are different. He has given a voice to those who fear people who might not have the same values and beliefs as themselves. To those who think that unity and equal rights are somehow going to bring our country down.

If I’m being completely honest, this has made me lose hope in The Church. My faith in God, no, but my love of The Church, yes. I will not stand behind a Christianity that chooses to vote on the single issue of pro-life at the expense of all other lives. That somehow the life of the unborn means more than the lives of African Americans or Muslims or Latinos or Asians or those with special needs or those in the LGBTQ community. That the Church holds the values of traditional marriage so high that we are unwilling to see the pain we are creating inside of people. I have heard many Christians say that they feared losing their religious freedom if Hillary was elected. But, Trump has people actually fearing for their lives. People who are now afraid to leave their houses. People who will now be targeted even more for the color of their skin, their sexual preferences, or their religion. That somehow Christian single issues are more important than the moral character of our nation’s leader. I’m not sure how we ever got to a place where we are willing to overlook a man’s integrity for a few issues that we hold dear. And, again, this isn’t about voting Hillary, it’s about using voices to elect a man who is a known racist, misogynist and xenophobe.

So, today I’m going to cry.  I’m going to worry for my son who is a Chinese immigrant and has mental health disabilities. I’m going to think about how I would want my children to be treated should they be LGBTQ. I’m going to pray for those who are afraid to leave their houses. I’m going to think about all those who now will be told they don’t have a place here because of the color of their skin or their religion.  Today I am mourning. Grieving. But, tomorrow, I’m going to put my big girl pants on and continue fighting.  I will use my voice of privilege to speak for those who are afraid. I will look at the people we surround ourselves with and make a promise that we will try harder to have every religion and race in our circle. I will be a fighting example for my children that we must rise up and defend those who cannot defend themselves.

Tomorrow, I’m going to continue the fight, but today I’m just going to cry.

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